Thursday, April 23, 2009

Starting Over.... thoughts and concerns

At this point in my life, age 40.  I had not planned on becoming a mommy again.  In fact, I have been enjoying  being Nana/Nanny these last several years.  Spoil them and send them home. 

As the days before Aiden's arrival have dwindled to VERY few.  Last night hubby voiced his concerns.  Many that I have been having.  Not so much concerns but you tend to wonder "now that we are older are we going to be able to keep up?"  , will we spoil this one?  Will be be even better parents now that we are older and wiser? 

Never did I imagine having a child at my age.  I wanted one when hubby and I first got together and I was 30.  When it didn’t happen we had tests and was told it wouldn’t be happening for us with out expensive doctors and treatments.  We decided to be happy with the children we have after all, between us, there were five to raise. 

We have had quite the time raising them.  They have broke us in and put us through a ton of things we didn’t expect to face.  We had a daughter who dealt with teen pregnancy and moved out before graduating high school.  She did go on to graduate but stress… oh the stress.  Another daughter moved out as soon as she graduated and moved in with a boyfriend and now has a 16 month old son.  We worry about both of them as the relationships they are in are not the best.  In total, so far, I have witnessed five grandchildren come into this world.  One grandchild was stillborn and that was about the worst experience of my life.  We knew before the  birth the child had passed but even though we knew it was still a devastating thing to witness.  I blogged about it HERE

We have had a son that was in a horrid car wreck.  We got one of those middle of the night calls that no parent EVER wants to get.  BLOGGED ABOUT HERE  I can honestly say that whole month he spent in the hospital and then back in for a follow up surgery for a broken ankle they MISSED before releasing him was nothing but chaos.  It didn’t affect me until about 2-3 weeks after getting him home and I totally lost it.  I couldn’t remember normal things, I was a mess.  I ended up having to go on some meds for ppl with ADHD to get me through that rough patch.

We have always faced the unexpected united and prayerfully.  We are facing the birth of a new son the same way.  We are prepared for him equipment wise.  Crib, changing table, clothes, diapers, wipes etc.  Emotionally it still does not seem real.   Even when I feel him kicking and moving inside it is hard to believe that with in two weeks I will be holding another son.   There are many things I want to change about the way I parented my other children.  I want to be sure to raise this one knowing and loving Jehovah God.  I really want to home school him.  I wanted to home school the other ones but caved to family opinions since I was so young.  I was a big shocked at some of the reactions from family already when I mentioned I wanted to home school Aiden.  According to them we’ll just ruin him that way.   Have they not watched the news lately?  Middle school and elementary students bringing hand guns to school, teachers being pedophiles, kids graduating that can not read , the drugs and sex… how can we do any worse by protecting him as much as we can from these things?  I have already bought a couple of books to  help me see what is the best methods and will it work for us.  The one I am reading right now that I highly recommend is

So You're Thinking About Homeschooling: Second Edition: Fifteen Families Show How You Can Do It (Focus on the Family)

This book gives you the perspective of 15 very different families and their reasons and methods of homeschooling.  It shows that  you do not have to be a “typical” home school family.  I am enjoying the way it is written.

We are at a time now when things have changed for our family.  We only have two children left at home, one of which will graduate high school in about six weeks.  After having lost my job last year my unemployment has run out so things are getting VERY tight financially.  I am using this time now to learn how to coupon, shop frugally, meal plan and get debts paid off and live on ALOT less than we have been.  This is the longest I have been without work in our married life but thankfully, until now, the unemployment helped.  Now that has stopped I want to find every way possible to save money so I can be a stay at home mom.  One book I purchased to help us learn to budget and save is this:

America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right on the Money: Your Guide to Living Better, Spending Less, and Cashing in on Your Dreams

I am enjoying this book and we are at the point where hubby and I are about to set down for the first time in our nine years together and make a budget.  I will be posting about the ups and downs of this.  He is horrid and dealing with this.  I can tell him “do not use your debit card there is only xx amount of money in there” and it won’t be an hour and he is using it!  So, this might just be a struggle. 

Learning to deal with a newborn full time is going to be stressful but so is trying to cut WAY back due to loss of around 900.00 per month in income is stressful also.  I have found MANY helpful websites that I am learning from.  Last night my trip to Winn Dixie using coupons and their sales saved us 35.00 on groceries.  I am just now getting the hang of using the CVS extra bucks system to save a ton of money.  A couple weeks ago I got 2 large packs of huggies diapers, 3 large refill packs of wipes, maxi pads and a couple other items and it cost me a total of $14.00 out of pocket.  I am learning.  This website HERE is great to show you actual scenarios for using CVS.  You can do the same at Walgreens but I haven’t started that yet! 


Well, I am going to cut this post short and share more concerns later on.  I didn’t get to sleep until 2 last night and was up with the alarm at 5 this a.m.  I am not having to take my son to his college classes today so I shall nap. 

Monday, April 20, 2009


Well, I ended up going back to bed after dropping son off and puttering around for awhile. Slept from 10-1!! I really didn't mean to. Baby is kicking my tush these last few weeks.

I go to doc in the a.m. I am really hoping she moves up the induction date but I am not expecting it.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Baby/life update: I will NOT leave my chair until this IS completed!!!

Ok, so the last week has been hectic.  On Monday afternoon I swore I would complete a blog about the weekend.  At that point I was on bed rest and figured I would use my lap top.  Well... the keyboard kept going whacky and totally lost my post four times when it was half way done!  I got so frustrated I said to heck with it. 

I have been on my regular computer a few times since then, checking blogs etc. but could not find the urge/energy to re-start said post.  Today I am going to update everyone and will NOT get up till I am done!!  (well, unless I have to pee since I am very very very pregnant and that happens every 10 min. or so)

So... last Sunday we went to hubby's families for a picnic in the afternoon.  It was a beautiful day.  His youngest brother grilled chicken which was delicious.  We got to bring home some for later and I NEVER GOT ONE PIECE... (thanks kids!!)  By late afternoon I was feeling contractions.  About every 10-15 minutes.  I wasn't worried.  This is about a month into braxton hicks and I have until May 22...

We left hubby's sister's house around 7 and headed home.  By this time the contractions had gotten closer.  About seven minutes.  It's a 45 min. drive to our house and I just kept an eye on them.  When we arrived home the elderly lady we help with had called and needed a repair done to her gate.  Hubby made her up a plate to take over and headed that way about 8:30.  I had him take my cell with him and told him I was going to lay down because the contractions were getting annoying and laying down should stop them.  Well, for an hour I tracked them.  Lying down in the bed they became three minutes apart.  We are 45 minutes from the hospital. (sometimes it seems like we are 45 minutes from everywhere).  I called hubby and asked him to head home.  I told him we better head in.  When get got here I told him I was going to take my bag and baby's bag because surely if I had them I wouldn't need them and they would send me home.... or so I thought.


When we arrived they hooked up IV's, monitors etc. to the point that going to the bathroom became quite the feat with all the attachments I had to drag behind me!  I had started to dilate but only 1/2 cm.  They watched the contractions on the monitor and they just were not going away.  My doc was out of town (of course) so they called in the doctor she had covering for her.  He gave me a shot to stop the contractions (at this point I am supposedly 34 weeks 3 days), he decided to keep me overnight and give me a steroid shot for baby just in case he insisted on coming into the world and I would need another one 24 hours later.  Therefore, I could count on staying till Tuesday.

This shocked me a bit but they know what they are doing.  I was up and down, literally, all night.  They were pumping fluids in me and they go through a pregnant woman faster than the road runner can say "beep beep".   The next a.m. they brought breakfast at 7:30.  Hubby called into work in order to stay with me and see what was going to happen.  By 7:30 contractions had started again and they had given me another shot to stop them.

--- I will digress here a moment to tell you that the steroid shot in the butt was very painful.  At which point I asked the nurse "how does your shooting me in the ass help my baby's lungs?"   She explained it all but I was just being a smart mouth ---

They told me about 8 doc  had ordered an ultrasound to see if baby had moved to the correct positions (he was breech at 28 weeks) and check his size (he was measuring 2 weeks bigger at that appt. and my belly is still measuring big).  They brought my lunch at 11:30.  The nurse lifted the lid and remarked "WOW! You can actually tell what it is"  -- this tends to scare the crap out of a person!!!!!!  I got two bites in me (I had an IV in my right hand so doing ANYTHING was interesting) when the other nurse came in and said "they are ready to take you to ultrasound"   of course they are.... I'm eating!!!!  It was actually good....

So, we go down to ultrasound and meet the tech who looks like she could be my daughter.  We ask if we can have a picture since we haven't gotten ANY from our ultrasounds except at 6 weeks!!  She said "no it's against policy to give them out if it is done as an emergency".  Well... sorrrryyyy we asked!  So she proceeds to do the 45 min. exam without saying much.  At the beginning I told her he would probably measure about 2 weeks bigger based on his last ultrasound.   When she finally got done she says ..." wellll.....  he isn't measuring 2 weeks bigger.  He is measuring 4 weeks!"  So here I was 34 weeks 3 days pregnant and my son is measuring 38 weeks and 4 days!  So I asked her to convert that to a weight.  She explained it can be off 1 lb either way and for my sake she hopes it is in the lower direction because he was measuring 7 lbs 11 oz!!!!!!  So... he could be 6lbs 11 oz up to 8 lbs 11 oz.  And I had FIVE.. count them 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 WEEKS to go!!!

They took me back to my room, hubby got my lunch heated up and the nurse came in.  "well, hon, ultrasound looks great you are going home." 

At this point arrangements had been made to stay.... I asked about the steroid shot that I NEEDED in 24 hours.  She said that since I had a reg. appt. with my doctor on Tuesday a.m. they would let her make that decision.  They sent me home with a prescription for the meds they had been giving me in shot form (which made my heart race horribly) in a pill form to keep contractions at bay. The nurse mentioned my doc might take me off these the next a.m. which led me to believe my doc wouldn't have given them to me in the first place and I needed to look them up online.  When we got home hubby got me settled in bed with my laptop.  I called the pharmacy (it's about 3 pm) to make sure they had called in the prescriptions and was told they would be ready in 15 minutes.  Hubby waited an hour and took a cat nap.  Then ran down to get them.  They hadn't even started them yet.  I am supposed to have the meds at 5:30 on the dot.  My daughter has a job interview hubby has to take her to at 5 he is trying to get all this done.  Come to find out that pharmacy didn't have the one med I needed in stock.  They called next door to the pharmacy inside the grocery store and finally got them.  (I finally got to take the pill at 6:30) after reading all the precautions including "do not take if pregnant" I decided that would be my last dose. 


That night we had storms like mad.  Hubby went to work and I went in to the doc.  My daughter rode with me.  She immediately took me off that pill.  She said she only uses it in extreme cases and then ONLY if you are hospitalized and monitored b/c of the heart racing thing.  She then read my ultrasound results.  She said OMG!  He's already that big... even if you go to the smaller measurement he is already over a pound over the normal rate.  I asked about the second steroid shot and she laughed.  She said if they had known his size they wouldn't have given me the FIRST one (she knew he was big so if she had been there I probably wouldn't have had the first one).  She said the steroids can add weight to the baby!!!  YEEEEEE!!! Just what I wanted to hear!!! She then started going over ALL my previous ultrasounds and flipping through the calendar.  She decided I will not go past about the 6th of May.  If I go in labor before then fine, I'll have the baby, if not she will schedule to induce me!    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU was all I could say.  I am sooooo uncomfortable!


The rest of this week has been pretty normal.  Laundry, cleaning, getting around for baby, napping and carting kids to and fro from here to there.  I will try to be better about daily updates.  I promise!


Oh... the shower went well.  Got quite a few cute outfits and diapers and wipes!  Under the crib is stacked with diapers!! :)  That's a good thing ... as Martha would say.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Laundry Soap Day

Today I made my first HUGE batch of laundry soap. Before it was a small batch, a little over 2 gal. This would last us almost three months but the months seem to fly! I also found out you can use this in a carpet steam cleaner. I haven't tried it yet but next time we do our rugs I will. Hubby is actually doing the rugs today but we already had rug cleaner solution.

Today batch of soap filled a five gal. bucket we purchased at Gander Mtn. with a lid. This should last us about six months if not more. :) It took all of 10 minutes to make the soap. Quick, easy and CHEAP! :)

The Memorial was great last night we had 197 people crammed in our small Kingdom Hall. Bro. Curtis gave the talk. I ended up having contractions from setting straight up. They lasted several hours about 4 min. apart but I could tell they were braxton hicks b/c they were very high. I finally got to sleep a bit after midnight. I got to sleep in a bit this a.m. which was nice. I slept till 8:30.

Kait is having a baby shower for me tomorrow here at my house. So, hubby and I get to clean for my baby shower.... does this make sense??? I am working on laundry today and then will finish cleaning the bathroom.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

A Dizzy Tripping Kind of Day

When I went to bed the night before last I wasn't quite feeling like myself. I had a head ache and just couldn't get comfortable. I contributed it to being pregnant. :)

When I awoke yesterday I was the same way. I was, however, very dizzy. I left 20 minutes late to take my son to the college as I waited until the dizziness passed. He only had one class that lasts an hour and I usually drive to another parking lot under a huge oak tree and wait. I'll read or nap or get on my laptop. Today, as he got out, I remember telling him. "I'm just going to wait here" and leaned my seat back. A bit later I realized I needed to shut the van off... I leaned up to reach for the keys and 40 minutes had passed!!!!! It kind of scared me. I am not sure if I passed out, I remember feeling dizzy as I leaned my seat back, or if I was just so tired I went to sleep. I tend to think it was the first because I am not one of those people that can just close their eyes and be asleep. (my husband on the other hand is an expert at this!)

I turned off the van and laid back down. It took me about 10 minutes and I snoozed. I could hear the lawn mowers around me as the ground keepers we taking advantage of a chilly morning to get the yards done but for those 40 minutes I heard NOTHING.

When I got up this a.m. and was feeling dizzy I immediately took my blood pressure, it was normal and my blood glucose, again that was normal. The only thing I can think of is my iron has dropped more instead of going up like it should be. If I am like this again tomorrow I am definitely going to call the doc. By late this afternoon all the woozyness had passed and the head ache had eased off but it kind of worries me that I might have passed out.

Tonight my husband and 16 year old daughter decided to race. To the mailbox. He figured he be a smartie and jump the porch railing. He should have rethunk that idea!! :) His foot didn't quite make it over the rail, he did a summersault and landed flat on his back! I ran (read waddled) to the door as quick as I could to see if he was ok... he said he was and was laughing his head off and so was my daughter. After about a half hour of me continuing to say "are you SURE your ok?" and him reassuring me he was... I told him he was no spring chicken anymore. I told him he might want to think about working out some if he can't keep up with a 16 year old girl our new son will be kickin' his butt in no time! :)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Why I am such a bad mother

I’ll admit it.  I am a horrible mother.  I have always made my children mind.  They have always had rules to follow.  I have never let them run the streets.  I make them do school work.  I am the worst!

I am reminded of this on a regular basis.  Today, for instance, my 18 year old son asked to go to a friends house and stay tonight and sleep over in order to ride in to classes tomorrow a.m.  First he made it like it was being done to help me out so I can sleep in.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to sleep in.  Sleep in this last month of pregnancy is a wonderful, wonderful thing. However, then he told me he wanted to stay over at Laura’s house.  Now, I have only met Laura at the van one day when I was dropping off Lew… this is Laura, Laura this is my mom.  I have no idea what her last name is, I have no idea who her parents are and at this point I am wondering “does she have parents”.  I would never let a guy stay over at the house as a friend of one of my daughters.  I would never let my daughter go stay at a guys house.  Why would it be ok for my son to do so? 

He truly does not understand.  He looks at me like I have two heads.  I have been asked “why don’t you  let me do anything, I’m 18”  Oh, the magic number of I’m 18 and I can do ANYTHING!  We have had this conversation many times.  With him and his older brother and  sisters.  It’s all about “the roof”.  He is under our roof…he is under our rules. 

My 16 year old daughter this week wants to have her boyfriend, who we have not met, pick her up here at the house and go off to the fair with him.  Do I look NUTS?  Do I look like I have lost my mind in my old age? (not that 40 is old) 

Just now, as I am typing this, the 16 year old calls and asks.  “can you pick us up at school?”  (I know she is at least talking about her and her friend Taylor)  When I asked why they needed a ride (usually it’s an FFA meeting they forgot to tell me about) I find out that another friend that practically lives with Taylor named Nicole, was trying to get on the bus with them and they wouldn’t allow her on.  Sorry people, this is NOT my responsibility.  I have enough children to take care of.  I do enough running for my own children.  This girl has been told MANY MANY MANY times that she is NOT allowed on another bus besides the one that goes to her OWN home.  If she is going to live with Taylor’s family (which basically she is) then her address and guardians need to be changed. 

So, I am living in the dark ages people.  I still believe parents should take responsibility for their OWN children.  I believe it is MY responsibility to try and watch out for and protect MY children to the best of my ability.  Even if they are the ripe old age of 18. 

Am I alone in the dark ages?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Grandson’s Health

My grandson has been having breathing issues for several months.  Two bouts of pneumonia, several colds, etc.  When I drove my daughter and grandson to a follow up appointment last month I made a point to ask the doctor “are you sure he doesn’t have asthma.  His mother had it quite bad as a child”.  He gave me the answer that even though he seemed to have one problem after another it didn’t mean he had asthma.


Today he started having breathing issues again.  She took him to shands… after many tests his diagnosis:  an asthma attack.  He also had a bad diaper rash and my daughter couldn’t figure out why she couldn’t get rid of it.  I told her more than likely it was a yeast infection… I was also correct on that.  If only I could write prescriptions!  :)


I felt so bad for my grandson last night.  He is cutting a tooth and got an upset tummy and was up most of the night.  When I got up this morning I woke to him by my bed smiling from ear to ear.  He went out to the living room with his dad.  When I went out I said “are you feeling better?”   He smiled and said “yea!”  He doesn’t say much but when he does he tends to make you feel better.  :)


It was hot and muggy today but it’s supposed to rain tomorrow then get a cold front.  :)  High’s Tues. around 60~~!!!  :)  So excited.  I won’t have to run my air for a couple days and it will be nice to hang clothes out. 


Well, I am going to get some sleep.  Have to drive my son to school in the a.m.  He is feeling much better.  His back just needed a few days of rest. 

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Quick Update

Air is still out.

I am not feeling the best today. Have been having contractions and just very uncomfortable. Doc checked me today and I have not dialated but she said if they continue uninterrupted for two hours to head to the hospital. Told me to head home and lie down and drink plenty of fluids... which means I'll be up and down... hee hee

That has seemed to help and I am only having them here and there now instead of every four to five min.

We have all our fans going and it's still hot in this house. Landlord will not be here till Sat to fix the air. My main concern is tonight we are under tornado watches with heavy rain expected which means most of the windows will have to be shut down...which means it will be unbearable in here!!! UGH...

We need the rain but it could come at a different time.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

FL is getting HOT and guess what????

Our air conditioning went out!

Our landlord does air conditioning for a living but can't get up here (he is about 3 hours away) until the weekend. We'll live, we might sweat off a few pounds during the afternoons but we'll live.

I often wonder how I lived through the hot summers in western NY with out air conditioning. I guess when you are a child it doesn't bother you as much. The fact that I am in my 8th month of pregnancy probably doesn't help much either! :)

I stopped at the goodwill today to look around. There is a huge one in Ocala and it has new stuff daily and it's always packed. Today I was able to pick up plastic bags with about 10 books each (children's books) for $1.00 each bag. One of the bags had a Dr. Suess book in it that retails at Wally World for 7.99 so that one book alone gave me a great deal. I didn't stay long as walking too much these days gets to me. The infant dept. didn't have much in it and the books for adults were disappointing. No titles I have been looking for. One day soon I'll stop at the used book store. I have some credits there I can use.

I came home and hubby was filling his face with pizza left over from last night. I said "well, I had planned enchiladas but I guess I don't have to cook now." He said "why not?" LOL Men, are their stomachs bottomless??

Well, I'm going to get back to rearranging my book shelves. I am making the small one in the living room for kids books now. Mine are coming in my room. Eventually I will have to get a larger book shelf for out there but for now we are good.

Gone Far Too Long

Why did I ever get away from my blog? Oh yeah... life. My "baby" will be 9 next week.  My husband has faced kidney failure and...