Starting Over.... thoughts and concerns

At this point in my life, age 40.  I had not planned on becoming a mommy again.  In fact, I have been enjoying  being Nana/Nanny these last several years.  Spoil them and send them home. 

As the days before Aiden's arrival have dwindled to VERY few.  Last night hubby voiced his concerns.  Many that I have been having.  Not so much concerns but you tend to wonder "now that we are older are we going to be able to keep up?"  , will we spoil this one?  Will be be even better parents now that we are older and wiser? 

Never did I imagine having a child at my age.  I wanted one when hubby and I first got together and I was 30.  When it didn’t happen we had tests and was told it wouldn’t be happening for us with out expensive doctors and treatments.  We decided to be happy with the children we have after all, between us, there were five to raise. 

We have had quite the time raising them.  They have broke us in and put us through a ton of things we didn’t expect to face.  We had a daughter who dealt with teen pregnancy and moved out before graduating high school.  She did go on to graduate but stress… oh the stress.  Another daughter moved out as soon as she graduated and moved in with a boyfriend and now has a 16 month old son.  We worry about both of them as the relationships they are in are not the best.  In total, so far, I have witnessed five grandchildren come into this world.  One grandchild was stillborn and that was about the worst experience of my life.  We knew before the  birth the child had passed but even though we knew it was still a devastating thing to witness.  I blogged about it HERE

We have had a son that was in a horrid car wreck.  We got one of those middle of the night calls that no parent EVER wants to get.  BLOGGED ABOUT HERE  I can honestly say that whole month he spent in the hospital and then back in for a follow up surgery for a broken ankle they MISSED before releasing him was nothing but chaos.  It didn’t affect me until about 2-3 weeks after getting him home and I totally lost it.  I couldn’t remember normal things, I was a mess.  I ended up having to go on some meds for ppl with ADHD to get me through that rough patch.

We have always faced the unexpected united and prayerfully.  We are facing the birth of a new son the same way.  We are prepared for him equipment wise.  Crib, changing table, clothes, diapers, wipes etc.  Emotionally it still does not seem real.   Even when I feel him kicking and moving inside it is hard to believe that with in two weeks I will be holding another son.   There are many things I want to change about the way I parented my other children.  I want to be sure to raise this one knowing and loving Jehovah God.  I really want to home school him.  I wanted to home school the other ones but caved to family opinions since I was so young.  I was a big shocked at some of the reactions from family already when I mentioned I wanted to home school Aiden.  According to them we’ll just ruin him that way.   Have they not watched the news lately?  Middle school and elementary students bringing hand guns to school, teachers being pedophiles, kids graduating that can not read , the drugs and sex… how can we do any worse by protecting him as much as we can from these things?  I have already bought a couple of books to  help me see what is the best methods and will it work for us.  The one I am reading right now that I highly recommend is

So You're Thinking About Homeschooling: Second Edition: Fifteen Families Show How You Can Do It (Focus on the Family)

This book gives you the perspective of 15 very different families and their reasons and methods of homeschooling.  It shows that  you do not have to be a “typical” home school family.  I am enjoying the way it is written.

We are at a time now when things have changed for our family.  We only have two children left at home, one of which will graduate high school in about six weeks.  After having lost my job last year my unemployment has run out so things are getting VERY tight financially.  I am using this time now to learn how to coupon, shop frugally, meal plan and get debts paid off and live on ALOT less than we have been.  This is the longest I have been without work in our married life but thankfully, until now, the unemployment helped.  Now that has stopped I want to find every way possible to save money so I can be a stay at home mom.  One book I purchased to help us learn to budget and save is this:

America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right on the Money: Your Guide to Living Better, Spending Less, and Cashing in on Your Dreams

I am enjoying this book and we are at the point where hubby and I are about to set down for the first time in our nine years together and make a budget.  I will be posting about the ups and downs of this.  He is horrid and dealing with this.  I can tell him “do not use your debit card there is only xx amount of money in there” and it won’t be an hour and he is using it!  So, this might just be a struggle. 

Learning to deal with a newborn full time is going to be stressful but so is trying to cut WAY back due to loss of around 900.00 per month in income is stressful also.  I have found MANY helpful websites that I am learning from.  Last night my trip to Winn Dixie using coupons and their sales saved us 35.00 on groceries.  I am just now getting the hang of using the CVS extra bucks system to save a ton of money.  A couple weeks ago I got 2 large packs of huggies diapers, 3 large refill packs of wipes, maxi pads and a couple other items and it cost me a total of $14.00 out of pocket.  I am learning.  This website HERE is great to show you actual scenarios for using CVS.  You can do the same at Walgreens but I haven’t started that yet! 

 

Well, I am going to cut this post short and share more concerns later on.  I didn’t get to sleep until 2 last night and was up with the alarm at 5 this a.m.  I am not having to take my son to his college classes today so I shall nap. 

A Dizzy Tripping Kind of Day

When I went to bed the night before last I wasn't quite feeling like myself. I had a head ache and just couldn't get comfortable. I contributed it to being pregnant. :)

When I awoke yesterday I was the same way. I was, however, very dizzy. I left 20 minutes late to take my son to the college as I waited until the dizziness passed. He only had one class that lasts an hour and I usually drive to another parking lot under a huge oak tree and wait. I'll read or nap or get on my laptop. Today, as he got out, I remember telling him. "I'm just going to wait here" and leaned my seat back. A bit later I realized I needed to shut the van off... I leaned up to reach for the keys and 40 minutes had passed!!!!! It kind of scared me. I am not sure if I passed out, I remember feeling dizzy as I leaned my seat back, or if I was just so tired I went to sleep. I tend to think it was the first because I am not one of those people that can just close their eyes and be asleep. (my husband on the other hand is an expert at this!)

I turned off the van and laid back down. It took me about 10 minutes and I snoozed. I could hear the lawn mowers around me as the ground keepers we taking advantage of a chilly morning to get the yards done but for those 40 minutes I heard NOTHING.

When I got up this a.m. and was feeling dizzy I immediately took my blood pressure, it was normal and my blood glucose, again that was normal. The only thing I can think of is my iron has dropped more instead of going up like it should be. If I am like this again tomorrow I am definitely going to call the doc. By late this afternoon all the woozyness had passed and the head ache had eased off but it kind of worries me that I might have passed out.

Tonight my husband and 16 year old daughter decided to race. To the mailbox. He figured he be a smartie and jump the porch railing. He should have rethunk that idea!! :) His foot didn't quite make it over the rail, he did a summersault and landed flat on his back! I ran (read waddled) to the door as quick as I could to see if he was ok... he said he was and was laughing his head off and so was my daughter. After about a half hour of me continuing to say "are you SURE your ok?" and him reassuring me he was... I told him he was no spring chicken anymore. I told him he might want to think about working out some if he can't keep up with a 16 year old girl our new son will be kickin' his butt in no time! :)

One of the best weekends in a long time

The weather was absolutely perfect!  If I could find a place that the weather was like this year around I would pack tomorrow and head there.  It was about 70 and breezy and sunny.

We were supposed to head to our grandkids'  t-ball game yesterday  but hubby woke up with an upset stomach that had him running for the  bathroom frequently.  Since it is about an hour and half t0 two hour drive we didn't find that a good idea.  Our daughter posted some great pictures on her myspace for us to see and told us the funny stories of their "plays". 

We hung around the house and puttered.  I got my desk cleaned off.  My coupon binder now has coupons in it. 

Here is a photo of my desk area.  You can see to the left that Aiden's crib is also in the room.  Our master bedroom is now an office, master bedroom and nursery all in one. 

 

You can see I was busy today catching up on reading favorite blogs.  The one on my screen is Copperswife from Xanga. Her posts inspire me, and many times are very calming and relaxing to read. 

Today I have been organizing here and there.  I took out all the cereal from the cereal cupboard.  Old stuff that had been there awhile got pitched.  New stuff I took out of the boxes to save space.   I used a clip on the top of open ones and each new one got a clip

on the top of the bag in order for them to know how to close it when they open it.   I used the extra clips from my office supplies instead of having to purchase "bag clips".  I love re purposing things.   I labeled each back with a sharpie then I made a list of what is in the cupboard to hang on the door.

The nesting instinct seems to be kicking in once again.  I have so many organization ideas floating in my head that I want done yesterday!  I just want things in order and ready when Aiden arrives so there won't be mass confusion when we add a baby to our already busy household.

Yesterday I did get all of our laundry washed, dried and put away.  I have yet to get hubby to put up my clothes line.  He doesn't want it in the front yard and the back yard is NOT the place for it as the dogs are out there a lot.  Basically I want a place to dry my towels and blankets to get the good fresh air and save us a bit on electricity this summer.   Our bill always rises in the summer because of the air conditioning.  We like a cooler house but we hate having the big bill! 

Tomorrow's agenda is to organize another cupboard and maybe hubby's tools that have taken over a buffet that is tucked under a bar in our living room.  If I can get them all out of there it will free up more space for baby things.  :) 

Technorati Tags: organizing,cleaning,budget,life,preparing for baby

Yet another interesting week....

Maybe March will be better???

Daughter finally got out of hospital but still has the blood clot in her leg.  She has to give herself 2 shots of blood thinner a day and is on crutches because of the pain in her leg.

My grandson had appeared to be recovering but on Thursday took a turn for the worse again and ended up back at the ER.  Pneumonia had cleared up in the one lung but was started in the other one.  UGH!

Late Friday night I was lying in bed (only for brief times because of having to P so much!)  my son was doing laundry and I started hearing gurgaling.  The septic is backed up~~~~!!  

We called the landlord Sat. a.m. (hubby and son ended up having to disconnect drains under the house to the tubs to empty the yuck out of the tubs).  When we called the land lord we found out...he was out of town till today.  So, we have been unable to do our laundry.  We try not to make frequent trips to the potty (try that when you are seven months pregnant).  It makes for a miserable weekend.

Tomorrow a.m. I have to call the septic people and find out if they will let the landlord charge to his card and come pump out the tank.  If they won't I guess I will have to find another reputiable one that will.  He wants it charged to his card instead of us paying and them taking it out of our rent.  I think this will end up being expensive as last time they came about six months ago they said the drain field was not working properly.

I go to the doc on Tuesday at 3:30 in the afternoon.  I should find out some test results and find out if they will change my due date.  The last ultrasound showed baby was quite a bit larger than he should be at 27 1/2 weeks so we will see if she moves it up or just goes with the original date.  Looks like he may be a big baby like his brother.  (my son was 9 lbs 9 oz and 22 1/2 inches long).